Monday, 9 November 2009

Absolute Abstinence

I am going mad. The pressure in my head is inhuman. I might have to hit it against a wall just to relieve the pain. I need a baguette. I need truffle brie. I need whipped cream, blueberry muffins, cheesecakes, chocolate fondue, ciabatta with melted appenzeller. I need tagliatelle with saffron-lemon cream sauce. I need a Pret Italian Artisan Prosciutto Baguette. I can't take the absence of this food any longer. I want to bath in whipped cream, lick butter of my fingers, dig my head into a super-sized heap of spaghetti carbonara and grunt.

I am an addict on the verge of giving in. So I looked up how to deal with it:

Recognizing the medical and psychological aspects of drug withdrawal.
Identifying triggers to drug use and developing techniques for avoiding these triggers.
Learning how to handle drug craving without relapsing.

First, the counselor should help the patient to identify the people, places, and things that will trigger or lead to a craving or urge. Then the counselor should point out that the patient must avoid the people, places, and things that trigger craving and have the patient discuss how he or she can avoid the triggers.

Ahhhh... Ok. I will just have to stay indoors for the rest of my life. No, that won't help. I'll just have to lay still on my bed with closed eyes and wait to die. Because I am refusing to eat another piece of zucchini again! I refuse to set my eyes on another asparagus, tomato or eggplant. No bean, leek or pepper will ever enter the dark cave of my mouth. Ever. Not. A. Chance. My hands refuse to chop another onion. My stomach repulses at the thought of another avocado.

I'd rather just starve to death. Yepp. That's right. See you on the other side brothers and sisters.


  1. Don't do it! Stay on the path! The Dark NIght Of The Soul will light your way once again, my friend!

  2. And what a party we will have once there - croissants, coffe, red wine, meat, cheescakes and lots of sleep ins.