Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Non-Robotic Lamb Meatballs

I haven't spoken to a single person today. Not in person, anyway. Even at Sainsbury's, as I desperately wanted to pay at the human cashier, a tired looking man just shook his head and pointed to the robot cashier on the other side.

At least, the thing had a voice. Please, take your bags! Please. The metallic voice might as well have shouted Hurry up you lousy good-for-nothing, you are yesterdays news! Take your shit and move along! Please! We are trying to work here.

I was strangely depressed walking home with my two orange plastic bags, feeling a little guilty. I had, once again, forgot my canvas bag and so used the worlds resources shamefully and selfishly. And was I, on top of all, a part of the worlds economic down-fall, as I am just too slow to pick up my bags, slowing the cash-flow down in a way that someone could calculate to the precise percentage... I'll stop here.

To my great joy the phone rang the moment I stepped in the door. Oh hurrah! I basically threw the bags on the floor (not caring about my dad's voice in my head Caroline, for God's sake! Never pack the eggs lowest in a bag! You must put them on top! Why? Why can't you ever learn this?) and shoot like a rocket, grabbing the phone on my way, to the sofa.

Hello? I answered excitedly. For all I knew, it might be Alan Ball or A Friend or at least my mother. After a moments hesitation, a strange woman's voice talked back.
V: Have you considered changing bank...
No, I said back, but she didn't stop to hear me out. I realized then, that I was trying to communicate with a robot, again. And that's how it went the hole day.

Hello? Friendly me.
Have you considered The Kitchen Specialists Special Christmas...


C: Hello? A little less friendly, but hey, how many such calls can a girl get in a day?
V: Have you considered changing your cars tires...


C: Yes?
V: Have you considered paying your bills...


V: Have you considered the home service of...
V: Have you considered renting a car within the...
V: Have you considered joining the worlds largest...

C: Have you considered to shut the fuck up?

Man does it feel good to shout at the top of ones lungs. Even if only to a robot.

Non-Robotic Lamb Meatballs

500g minced lamb
1 egg
a spoon of breadcrumbs
a cup of water
the rind of two lemons (grated)
parsley, finely chopped
2 big cloves of garlic, finely chopped
salt and pepper

Mix all the above in a bowl.

1 yellow onion, finely chopped
1 can chopped tomatoes
a little sugar or molasses
salt and pepper

Let the onion fry for some minutes before adding the rest, then let it simmer for about 10 min. Make nice, big balls with the meat and pop into the pan (must be a large pan!). Cook for about 15-20 minutes. Serve with red or black rice. Sprinkle over fresh herbs, like basil or thyme...

Yum. Thanks Anna for recipe!


  1. Några tomma dagar utan din blogg. Härligt att du är tillbaka! :)

  2. Back with a Bang! vilken tokig dag jag blev sur bara att läsa om den. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
    puss T

  3. Äntligen lite liv i luckan hos soppkocken. Saknar dig när du inte skriver.

    Vågar inte ens tänka på hur många plastpåsar jag som liten blöjkastare använder varje dag, varje vecka.


  4. Have you considered the new Kentucky Fried Super Savings menue? Now two for the price of one! Bring your friend! Saving has never been so easy! All major credit cards accepted.

    (please do not reply – computer generated message)